Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 9: Glimpses of the Inner World
…and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time…Heb 9:28 (KJV)
The following testimonies of parts in “J” were all accomplished Saturday morning. It is a marvelous example of how quickly Jesus can work when he is released to do it all his way.
Demon-possessed part freed and meeting Cindy for the first time.
I think it’s so cool that, as my dog ate her food this morning, the Lord invited me to read His Word for a bit. As I read, I happened to read in Matthew of the Lord casting out many demons from people outside Peter’s house. Then, later on, I read of the Lord casting out the demons from the two demoniacs (the time where the demons asked to be cast into the two thousand pigs). I meditated on this passage for a time, trying to imagine it and consider different things about it for a bit after taking care of my dog. It’s so cool how the Lord invited me to read this today considering what he did in freeing this part. Jesus is so thoughtful.
Testimony: After praying for a little while, inviting the Lord Jesus to come and have his way in me and celebrating his work in me, I was able to connect in my spirit with the Lord. He encouraged me to check to make sure it was Him, so I asked Jesus to reveal who He was to me. I could see and feel even a glimpse of his glory, and I dropped to the ground and worshiped Him. This definitely was my Lord. As I rose, I looked, and there was a little girl with him (maybe 5 or so years old?). Her name is Cindy.
The Lord freed very many of my parts while I worked, and it wasn’t for me to have to know all that He did and who He freed. He lovingly explained that this was Cindy. She wanted to stay with Jesus and be with Him while he goes and frees other parts. I was delighted to meet her and cried a little bit when meeting her. It’s so sweet to me that she wants to be with Jesus and to get to watch and participate as He frees other parts like her. It is so precious.
I had music playing as the Lord asked me to in my headphones, and it randomly stopped at one point, the entire app crashing and needing to be restarted. I think the devil really doesn’t want us to free these parts, and he’s trying to do everything he can to interfere. He’s going to be sorely disappointed, as we will not stop! Nothing he does can stop this coming Light in me. Jesus has declared it, and so it will be.
Now, we walk on our way to free yet another part. The Lord told me I will write it down as it happens this time, and I can’t wait for what he’s going to do. Soon, I know we are here. The Lord looks at me. Just by a look, He is so able to reassure me that He is totally competent. I am put at ease and peace. He is in control, and I can trust Him. And so, we go in.
[Potential trigger warning. Next two paragraphs. My part was demon-possessed, but the Lord cast the demons out.]
Darkness. This place is so dark. There is no light in here. I should be scared, but I know Jesus is with us, and I’m thankful to have Cindy here with us as well. I hear a guttural, demonic shriek coming from somewhere deep within the room. It keeps happening, sounding a bit different each time. I feel the Lord reassure me that it will be okay. I feel compassion for this part; I’m sure they’ve been through so much.
Jesus cries out, “Come out of him you devil! You are no longer permitted to torment him like this. I have come to free him, and you will not stand in my way. Come out!” I heard rushing footsteps as the part frantically ran at us like more like a frenzied animal than a human. They stopped short and shrieked and cried, the demonic entities not wanting to come out of my part. But, they could only resist for so long, and I could feel my part being thrown into terrible convulsions as the demons sought to do their worst to harm him before leaving. And then, just like that, it was quiet, and the demons were gone. My part whimpered and cried. They were in so much pain. They had cuts and bruises all over their body, hurting all over. They also bore such emotional pain from being controlled for so many years by these demons and being forced to do all sort of inhumane things.
Jesus cried. He knew. He didn’t judge him. Instead, he gently walked over and scooped him up. As He held my part, He gently asked how he was doing. My part whimpered, saying he hurt so bad all over, and then he started crying again. Jesus responded in loving and soothing words to him, much like a mother soothing a hurting child after they’ve scraped their knee or bumped their head.
Then, Jesus said, “I know it hurts so badly. How about this. I can heal you, so that the pain stops. Would you like that?” My part nodded their head softly. And so, Jesus allowed his healing power to flow into my part. It seemed that it wasn’t quite so dark anymore. I could see his skin clearing up, each cut and bruise disappearing and being replaced with perfectly healthy skin. Soon, they were all gone, and my part didn’t cry anymore. They felt good.
He asked if he could stay with Jesus forever, and Jesus gladly said yes. There was so much love in his eyes. He helped my part understand what he needed to do, and my part gladly did it all, just happy to be with the Lord and that he would never have to leave him. After being controlled by the devil for so long, he was happy to be free and to get to serve Jesus, who had made him well and saved him from the demons. Jesus gave him a beautiful flashlight, telling him it would never go dim or run out of light. My part immediately turned it on, and it light up the whole space we were in without seeming too bright. (More like daylight than a bright flashlight).
Jesus asked if my part wanted to go, and he gladly agreed. Jesus very easily cast out the doorkeepers, and we went on our way. My part didn’t want to leave Jesus’ arms, so Jesus continued to carry him. Soon, he fell asleep. Jesus looked at me as we walked. His face welled with such joy and pride. I remember the parable of the sheep and the one that went astray. I realize that this is what he’s doing in me right now as he brings more and more parts into safety. I remember in the parable how much the shepherd celebrates having found the one lost sheep (or similarly in the parable of the lost coin, or even of the prodigal son returning). I realize that He has this same level of joy right now. He wants to celebrate. I am so touched and thankful for the God I serve who will go out to save the one and cares so deeply for each one He saves. Thank you my Lord!
The Next Part is saved:
Lie: “Weak. I am so weak. I am worthless. I will always fail. I will never succeed. When I fail, it’s because of who I am. I will never stop being a failure. When I give up, it’s because that’s who I am. Someone who gives up. I will always be this way, and there is no hope that I will ever change. I will never change. I cannot change. For I am a failure, and I will always be this way. I will never gain the love and acceptance that I crave for. I will always feel empty and alone. This is what I was created for, and this is what I will always be.”
Truth: “Oh child, wake up! Wake up, for this is not what I created you for. You have been lied to my son! Come out of this, for it does not become you. You were not made to be a failure. They told you this, but they were wrong. They have told you this hideous lie to control you. They fabricated these scenarios to prove this to you, but it is all a facade. You are not a failure. You are mine. I will make you to see who you truly are. I will show you the depth of your potential in Me. You are surely worthy of My love. Come my child. Come out of these lies and into My truth. For you will know the truth, and it will set you free. Come.”
Testimony: Michael. He sits with his head in his hands. He is very depressed. He is chained up, but he might as well not be, for I doubt he would move of his own accord. He doesn’t believe he can do anything about his condition. (Much like a young elephant who is chained to a tree is taught it can never break its restraints. In time, a rope can be used, for the elephant believes its bonds are unbreakable.)
Jesus looks at me. I know it’s my turn to speak to this part. I look at him. I know much of what he’s feeling. I have felt it many times. “Hello Michael,” I say gently. He doesn’t look up and mumbles back, “Hello my captor,” not yet realizing who we are. “We are not here to harm you, Michael. We have come to make you free. You have been lied to your whole life, but we will show you the truth. You will know our love, and you will see that you are not a failure. You are loved and accepted as you are. Lift your head up, for the light shines on you today, Michael, and great is the Light that shines on you.”
Jesus allows just a smidge of His glory to shine forth, catching Michael’s curiosity. He looks up and shields his eyes as he sees us. He’s never seen anything like this before and is surprised. “What do you want from me?” “I have already given you everything!” He shouts. He does not seem to understand. I ask the Lord what we should do. He gently shares that this part has been blinded. The devil doesn’t want him to be able to see us, that he cannot get free. I ask what we should do, and Jesus asks me if I trust Him. I do.
He goes over to Michael and gently explains that he’s been blinded by his tormentors but that He is able to make him see again. He asks Michael if he wants to be able to see. I see a tear come out of Michael’s eye as he desperately says yes. Jesus encourages him, saying that because of his faith, He will make him to see today. He puts his hand gently over his eyes and utters some words quietly that I do not understand.
Michael strains and shifts around, I realize he’s in great discomfort. It seems a spirit has caused this affliction to come upon him. Jesus reassures Michael with comforting words as His power flows and forces the spirit to flee. Soon, it is done. Michael is sweating profusely and breathing heavily, but he now looks intently up at Jesus, his eyes clear now. (Before, they looked cloudy).
“Who are you?” he asks. “I am the Lord most high,” Jesus responds, “and I have the power to not only heal you from this affliction. I have the power to make you well. I can heal you from the lies of the enemy that have controlled you and held you back for all your life. I can make you whole where you’ve felt in pieces your whole life. I can make you free where you’ve been in bondage. I can give you life where all you’ve experienced has been death. Do you want this?” “Yes.” he says confidently. “If you can do this, then make it so.”
I brace myself, expecting the Lord to reprimand Michael for his lack of faith. But, instead, Jesus calmly responds, “I can do this and more, and I will, my child.” And so, Jesus lifts Michael up and gently explains all that he must do to be saved and free. Michael is willing and lays it all down, obeying Jesus with each thing He calls him to do. Soon, the weight of everything he’s been through is gone from Michael’s shoulders, and he stands tall. He sees that he is not a failure and understands how the enemy used all that he’s been through to make him believe this lie to control him. He understands now how Jesus will empower him, and he also sees now how the Lord truly does love and accept him.
The Lord shares that He has much he will call Michael to do. In this, He will continue to heal Michael’s belief that he is not worthy or capable. He gives Him a mighty sword and shield. He keeps giving him things, and I quickly realize He is giving him everything Ephesians 5 talks about in the armor and weapons we’re supposed to take up in spiritual warfare. Suddenly, I realize that David is here with us. He is garbed the same way now, though he still wears his flowy garments for dancing. His eyes are full of light and joy, and I can tell he is very excited that Michael is free as well. Jesus looks gravely at both of them and explains much of what they will be called to do. David gives Michael a big hug and encourages him that they will never be alone. He will be with Michael, and the Lord will go before them as well.
Michael is thus further emboldened and thankful that Jesus has given him a brother to be with him and that they will never walk alone without the Lord as well. Jesus gives them both authority over spirits and demons. I am astonished. He points to the doorkeepers and tells them to go over and cast them out. “They will leave, for they have no claim on Michael anymore, and I have given you my authority. Remember, when you cast them out, you do so not by your strength, or by saying the right words, but because of my authority that I have given you. Cast them out by my authority,” He admonishes them.
And so, they both walk over together, further emboldened, and command the demons to leave. They have no choice, for the authority of the Lord is upon Michael and David now. They flee, never to return. The Lord says we will all walk together for a while. He lets me know that He has much more He intends to do with them today, and that it is soon time for me to go about what He’s called me to do with my day as well. I look down and realize Cindy is still with us. Her eyes are beaming with joy, and I see just how full of faith this little one is. I give her a big hug, and we all celebrate together what the Lord has done today, singing and dancing as we walk.
It is now time for me to go, but I rejoice at what the Lord is doing in me. He is increasing His freedom song in me. As He said before, so He reminds me now, “The sun is rising in me.”