Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 6: Glimpses of the Inner World
…and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time…Heb 9:28 (KJV)
More from “J” where the devil tries to trick him but is foiled in his attempts when “J” realizes the one he thought was Jesus was actually something demonic.
The Devil’s Trickery and the Lord’s Discernment
Last night, as I read an email, I felt some pride come to the surface. I quickly realized it was from a part. I sought the Lord, and thought I felt him saying he did want to free the part. So, I did some dishes and got some things done I needed to, then sat before him and sought to be in his presence to do the work.
I heard a voice encouraging me that we would free a part. They were very deep inside this super dark big structure, and they were a very powerful part. The voice warned me that I would experience some strong things, and it would be difficult, but it would protect me. (All extremely similar to what Jesus normally tells me.) So, I went with it, and we traveled to where the part was. As we went, I felt uncomfortable and this weighty fear. I didn’t pay much attention to it yet, as I figured it could just be we were going to free a very difficult part to free or something.
However, when we arrived, something felt very off. The part scared me. A lot. I asked the being I was with to protect me, thinking it was the Lord. I fell to the grown worshiping, as I thought it was Jesus. The being said they would protect me and tried to act like Jesus, but as the part came closer, but I still felt afraid.
At this point, I knew something was off. I took a step back and asked that Jesus would show me this being’s true nature. Things got confusing, but I thought I saw something demonic. I stepped back more and cried out to Jesus, deciding to be done with this escapade for now.
I tried envisioning myself in the safe place with the Lord, but when he turned around, his face looked like a demon. It was like a bad dream, and it was becoming harder and harder for me to visualize things inside.
So, I left my internal world and started praying out loud to the Lord for help. As I kept praying and asking for the Lord to come in his presence, he came. (Even though I didn’t see him in my internal world.) He encouraged me that I had done the right thing. The devil had tried to deceive me. But, he helped me see that I didn’t stay with him long and quickly realized his schemes. Jesus was proud of me, not angry. He let me know that if we had “freed” the part, it would have unleashed great chaos in my system. The devil wouldn’t have really had the part freed from entities or anything but would have made it seem so.
I was feeling worse and worse inside and asked the Lord what I should do. He instructed me to get my guitar and worship him for a while. It was really hard, but over time, it became easier. A while into it, I paused to seek the Lord’s presence directly, and he met me there. I had a wonderful, powerful time worshiping, and the Lord helped me feel better and better.
The next day, Jesus shared that the devil had been very angry that I didn’t fall prey to his schemes, and he “threw a tantrum” of sorts inside of me, which was why I had felt so bad. Today, the Lord moved in great power, and I felt he was angry at the devil for trying to manipulate and deceive me. I am so thankful for my Lord and how He fights for me. He reassured me that I will learn to tell his truth from the lies better and better over time. (Plus, he let me know that even if I had gone through with “freeing” the part with the devil, it would have made things harder, but He would still have been with me and would still have kept helping me get free.)”