Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 4: Glimpses of the Inner World
This morning as I was fixing my breakfast smoothie, I received an email from “J” telling me that Jesus rescued two of his parts this morning even before his workday began. Those testimonies are at the end of this article along with one from the previous day, but before you read them, please read the next few paragraphs from our emails of this morning.
I had been noticing that that “J” is not having gruesome and horrible memories of the abuse he endured at the hands of the Satanists, so I asked him a question:
Pat: Am I correct in my understanding that you don’t have to know the terrible tortures that were done to you that formed all these parts? If I understand correctly, you feel their emotions and know the lies they believe that hold them captive to demonic oppression, but you don’t hear any memories of their torture. Is this correct?
“J”: Absolutely! I strongly believe that the Lord is shielding me from these things. As he’s been saving my parts, I’ve determined not to try and probe into their pasts etc. I only let Jesus show me and bring to mind what I need to know and trust him with the rest. Yup! That’s exactly right. And, once again, I just feel what the Lord wants me to feel from their emotions and lies for each part.
Pat: Absolutely fantastic! I believe that’s what he wants to do for everyone. It may be that some might need to have some memories to know what they’ve been saved from. Also if someone is ministering to them it might be helpful for them to know some things about what the Satanists do. But I think he’s doing a new thing here where he just deals directly with the part if the person in whom the part lives is yielded like you are. You are making the right decision every time so far as I can see. You are leaving God alone to do what he knows to do because you are not interfering. So this is phenomenal! So exciting!
Testimony from this morning:
I was journaling about what I’ve been learning as I’ve been reading the Word lately. All of the sudden, an anxiety surfaced around how God said he’ll provide for us. Quickly, I realized it was from a part and had to do with lies they were taught. I asked the Lord about it, and he confirmed this for me and confirmed that he wanted to free the part. This time, I was to simply be still. He would let me know if I needed to do anything. And so, I let my dog up into my lap and tried my best to be still.
After a time, the Lord let me know my part was really struggling to lay down her tools and the job the devil had given to her. She had believed her whole life they were good. It was very difficult to come to terms with the fact that she had been so deeply lied to and deceived. Jesus asked me to pray for her about this. And so, I did. After I prayed for my part (however I felt led), Jesus let me know that it helped my part understand better. (As I prayed, I delved into how the devil lies to us, and also I prayed about how his jobs/tools are deceitful. Then, I prayed that the Lord would show my part how Jesus would give them a new, better job. There would be no lying or deceit in Jesus’ job for her, and it would truly be for good.)
After a time, I checked in with the Lord, feeling they were done. And so, they were! My part is now free; Jesus will take care of her in the Safe Place.
Another testimony from this morning:
Email Subject: Little part saved this morning. A walk through darkness, and a defective stuffy.
Lie: “I am worthless. No one loves me. I am forgotten. I am not to be cared for. I will never have love or acceptance. I am alone. I am bad. I am not worthy. I am wretched. They are disappointed in me. I am a failure. I will not succeed at anything. The devil hates me. I am lower than the dirt. I am nothing.”
Truth: “Oh, my child. You’ve been through so much. Do not fear, for I will rescue you. I will make you new. You are my beloved. They have done so many evil things to you and have then further hurt you with these lies. They mean to control you and hold you captive. I mean to set you free. I will show you how much I care for you that you will see the truth: you are worth caring for. I will show you how much I love you to show you that you are worthy of my love. I will lift you out of this pit of failure to show you that you need not ever fear failing me. For I delight in you. Before you were born in your mother’s womb, I knew you. I have always been excited for this moment. Come. I will make you new.”
Testimony: We’re in a dark cave. We keep on walking deeper and deeper. It’s so dark. The Lord comforts me, saying, “We’re almost there.” And so, we walked. We near this big, sinister-looking door. Jesus puts his hand on it to open it. I stand in suspense. Woooosh, the door opens by the strength of his might and power. What is in there? Nothing, I think at first. But then, I see this little girl, crying alone in the dark room. She cries like one who has always longed for comfort but has only ever received pain, torment, and disappointment.
She holds a tattered and torn teddy bear. Even what was supposed to comfort her was made to tear and rip apart as soon as she held it. Still, she clutched onto the pieces for comfort, crying as she sucked her thumb. (I cry even now as I feel the depth of her sorrow and hurt.) She sees us at the door, but it matters not. She just keeps weeping. I am speechless, overwhelmed at her grief.
The Lord takes His time. He does not rush things. He gently walks towards her, speaking in soft, comforting tones (like a loving mother comforting her child who is so sad that they’ve nearly forgotten what they’re sad about). She finally looks up at him, her eyes so full of tears and puffy. She shows him her stuffed animal, crying even more at how broken it is. He cries too, and so do I. The Lord calmly scoops her up and starts to gently sway back and forth, patting her back with his loving, strong hands. She begins to calm down. He explains that he will give her a new stuffy: one that will be so soft and will never break. She struggles to believe this but would very much like a new stuffy.
He gently explained things to her using words she could understand. She no longer cried but listened intently. He lovingly coached her through repenting and forgiving (such as forgiving the mean people for giving her the defective teddy bear and for being so cruel to her.) She wanted to be with Jesus now and wanted to leave this place and never come back. Jesus agreed.
She still clutched onto the old teddy bear with all her might. Jesus, knowing this would be difficult, showed her the new stuffed animal he wanted to give her. It was beautiful and could be any animal she wanted it to be. She very much liked the new stuffy. So, she finally let her old one drop to the floor and reached for the new one. Jesus gladly gave it to her, his face filling with a fatherly joy and admiration for this little one.
And so, it was time to go. Two entities I hadn’t seen before now barred the door. They stuck out their chests, trying to appear strong and mighty. Jesus cast them aside with little effort, doing so with a quiet wave of his hand to avoid disturbing my part, as she was starting to fall asleep in his arms, clutching on to her new favorite toy. We walked the long walk out and went to the safe place. This little part is now free.”
Testimony from Jonathan and the outcasts:
Testimony: Jonathan and the outcasts. The Lord had led me to continue reading in Matthew. I was soaking up the end of chapter six and the beginning of chapter seven. As I read about how the Lord delights in giving good gifts, I felt a part listening. They related to asking for good gifts and being given bad ones instead. They were amazed to hear that the Father delighted in giving his children good gifts. I knew they wanted to meet the Lord. So, I asked Jesus if it was time to free this part, and he said yes!! So, I asked how he wanted us to do it this time.
He let me know that this time, I would talk to my part, and he would lead me in what to do and say. I was nervous but obeyed. I went to my part and started talking to him as the Lord gave me words. We talked about many things. In time, he wanted to be saved. I asked the Lord, and knew my part would need to repent of sins, break a covenant, and lay down his tools the devil had given him. The first sin was hating the devil and other people. Suddenly, things went into fast motion as he repented for sin after sin and everything the Lord wanted him to repent of and break.
Then, it was time for him to lay down his tools. It was hard for him to do this and to understand why he needed to. So, I explained more to him about how the devil’s tools work and how Jesus’ gifts are better. Soon, he understood and cast his tools to the ground. I asked the Lord, and it was time to cast out the entities guarding the door. He told me what to say with his authority, and I said it. They left easily, having no more claim on my part. His name was Jonathan.
Jesus came and encouraged us both. Jonathan shared there was another part he had been made to hurt. Jesus let us know to stay in the room, and He would go save them too. He wanted us to both be here. There must have been a door within the room that led deeper down into the structure. As Jonathan and I sat there, I realized a large entity was outside threatening to come in and harm us. I cried out to the Lord, and He confidently reassured us that no harm would come to us. He sent a powerful angel to guard the door. It had great power, blocking the door with a mighty force-field/shield that the entity or any other darkness could not enter.
Jesus let me know he was about to save MANY parts. An image of a multitude of parts came to mind. I was overwhelmed, but I submitted to him. Then, a multitude of demons came in great darkness and began attacking the very structure we sat in! They sought to destroy it and trap us there. I cried out to the Lord, and He sent His angels in power to strengthen the building from within. It stopped crumbling, even though the demonic onslaught intensified.
I had an idea. I looked at Jonathan. We were both afraid. I told him I had an idea: We should worship and celebrate together in the midst of the darkness. We started small, me leading us with songs as they came to mind. Soon, we were full-on dancing and praising, celebrating the Lord. It seemed the darkness was getting in and covering us. I asked the Lord. He explained the darkness couldn’t get into the room, so it was trying to attack my mind to get us to stop what we were doing. So, I worshiped with Jonathan with renewed vigor, and the darkness no longer affected me.
Soon, Jesus was finished. He led a great multitude of parts behind him. I asked who they were. He explained that they were the outcasts—all the leftover, “useless” parts from programming. They had been outcasts, locked away.
Jesus led Jonathan to put the devil’s tools he had cast aside into the roaring fireplace. The tools burst into flames. I felt Jesus had everyone burn their tools as well. Now, it was time to cast out the entities and demons. Jesus granted me authority over them and directed me what to say in His power and authority to cast them out. I obeyed, and they left!
However, we knew there were still a great number of cult-loyal parts outside who had been instructed to hurt us and stop us. I asked the Lord if he would just teleport us all safely to the safe place. He was adamant that he would lead us in triumphant procession to the safe place. He decided to put all the cult-loyal parts into a deep sleep. They would not be able to lay a finger on any of us or hurt any of us. However, we were to walk carefully and not step on any of them or hurt them. Jesus would save them someday, help them process their memory in the future, and He would be with them as they will be punished for their failure to stop the multitude from escaping.
And so, we walked in triumphant procession. As we walked, I began to worry about bringing SO MANY parts to the safe place. I wondered how my other parts would cope. I worriedly brought my concerns to Jesus. He kindly challenged me, reminding me where we were and what we were doing. He had just freed this multitude, and I was worried how we would have space. I realized what he meant. He was revealing more of my fear, pride, and desire to control. I repented and laid these things before him, thanking him for revealing something else in me that he wanted to deal with. He reassured me that he made the safe place, and as such, he would make a way.
He comforted me by saying he wouldn’t be bringing these parts to the exact same point in the safe place. My, it was about to become much bigger! (More like a safe world haha.) This comforted me, and I trusted him. And so, he led us to the safe place, and Jonathan and the outcasts are all free.”