Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 33: Glimpses of the Inner World
…and unto them that look for him shall he appear a second time…Heb 9:28
Email Subject: T: Lucy, a part being saved tonight. Worship and being still.
Background: This was a few months ago. My stomach wasn’t feeling well, and I felt progressively worse overall as the day went on. It was so hard to keep working, but the Lord gave me favor at work to help me. After work, I took care of my dog, and I sought the Lord. I felt so awful and didn’t know what else to do. This was the second evening in a row that I was feeling really rough. That night, he wrote me a sweet, encouraging letter. Then, he let me know he did want to free a part. This is what he did.
Testimony: Lucy. For this part, the Lord once again called me to do something new and unique. He delights in showing me how many ways he can free my parts and how he is not limited to only one way. I also think he knows my weakness and needs and is doing what’s best for me too. After writing me a letter earlier (he calls me to write down what he speaks to me as he speaks sometimes) he told me it was time for him to free a part. I asked what I should do, and first he said he would do most everything for freeing this part. I was simply to be still. So, I obeyed and was still in him. Soon, I felt him gently tell me to worship. So, I started gently singing whatever words he brought to my mind, praising him for what he was doing in me, celebrating his promises to me, proclaiming his truth, and a great many other things. Eventually, I felt the flow of words and ideas stop, and asked him if Lucy was free yet.
“Almost,” he replied. He let me know she was nearly free but that he still had a little ways to go. He invited me to just enjoy using my imagination for a little while, reassuring me that he would keep me safe and protect me. So, I calmly imagined this and that thing, whether it was a random scenario or something about work. (It was very peaceful.) Eventually, I felt the need to check in with him. He shared this time that Lucy was now free.
I asked him why he didn’t have me see anything about it this time, and why I didn’t get to see her be freed. I struggle greatly with the fear of being deceived, and I shared this with him too. He was so loving and encouraged me that it would be alright. He had a reason he was doing it this way, and he’s working all things for my good. He was not trying to deceive me, and Lucy truly was free and safe. It would not have been good for me to see this one get free right now, but she needed to get free. So, he shielded me from it.
To be honest, I’ve been feeling awful both last night and then this afternoon and evening. After talking with Patricia and then also with Jesus afterwards, I knew that there had to be a part whose job was to make me feel so sick. I feel a little better right now. (I just asked the Lord, and he shared Lucy was one of the parts making me feel sick, but there are many.) I am so thankful he freed my part Lucy, and thankful for how he looks out so lovingly for me as well.
