Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 3: Glimpses of the Inner World
The following is an excerpt of an email from a satanically ritually abused man who has been avidly devouring our articles and putting them into practice. I have noticed how he makes time to be alone with Jesus and that when he does, the Lord makes himself known and helps him. One of the first things he dealt with was his own sin of pride. I truly believe his deep repentance over pride and then his discovery of the roots of pride and renouncing them removed a serious blockage that could have hindered the Lord’s ministry to him.
A couple of things you might notice here: A man can have girl parts; other parts are observing the parts that are receiving ministry.
I have never met this man in person or over Zoom or Skype, but the ministry he is experiencing from the Lord sounds very much like what I would expect to see if I had been there. He has read our materials and acted upon them with great results. It is my prayer that this can be an encouragement for others who have been satanically abused and cannot find anyone to help them.
I have been seeking the Lord, and I read some more articles from y’all’s website. In one of them from 2022, Patricia talked about praying Psalms 139 (about search me and know my thoughts. . . reveal any wicked way within me, etc.). So, last night, I prayed it with the Lord, and he revealed that he wanted us to work on pride within me.
Pride is one of the things within that ravaged my relationship with my wife and I, making it so hard for her to be with me. I asked him to show me where to read, and Prov. 23, James 4, and Psalms 119 came to mind. This morning I read in Prov. 23 and James 4. James 4 hit me like a bowling ball. I studied the words in it about pride etc. for a little while, prayed before the Lord about my pride for a time, and all of the sudden, a bunch of reasons started coming to mind on why I couldn’t just be like everyone else and why I had to be better.
As soon as I realized what was going on, I said them all aloud, rapid-fire to the Lord. I realized from reading articles on y’all’s website that more than likely I had just discovered lies that Satan and his followers had taught someone inside of me, and I knew this to be true. So, I renounced the lies and proclaimed God’s truth over myself. I realized the root was that deep inside, I just wanted to be known and loved, and it was taught and shown me that this could never happen if I wasn’t worthy / better than those around me.
As I was praying and celebrating that I really can be known and loved in Jesus without being more special than those around me, better than them, etc., I realized a part was listening.
I watched the song by Rend Collective called “You Will Never Run” to celebrate the truth that Yahweh won’t run away from me, and loves me even in my imperfection. (Rend Collective in general has been a huge encouragement to me lately. I would definitely recommend their music to people from an SRA background. It’s so encouraging and life-giving.)
As I watched, I felt my part so excited, nervous, and crying a bit at what she saw. These people were so carefree and full of joy. They were silly, zany, and kinda crazy. They looked truly happy. And they were proclaiming that God would never run away from them and would accept them as they were.
After the song, I felt strongly that my part wanted to experience and know Jesus and asked if she could know him and if he would do the same thing in her (if she could truly dance and be happy and carefree and have fun in him like the people in the video did). We then asked for Jesus to do so. He went to her, and she was worried she couldn’t get out because of the darkness that guarded her (I didn’t see this much).
Long story short, Jesus picked her up and brought her to the safe place he must have made in me when I asked him to make one inside of me (I’ve never seen it before), and I only got what I think to be a brief glimpse. She is safe now with Him, and I’ve surrendered her into Jesus’ care.”
End of this excerpt.
Something else I’ve noticed in this person’s attitude that facilitates the working of Jesus in him is his realization that the painful circumstances he is in at this time are not something to try to escape. He sees that these trials, painful as they are, are actually making it possible for Jesus to work miraculously in his life. He is isolated in a rural setting with no car and no stores within walking distance necessitating ordering his food via the Internet. There are no people nearby, and no family to turn to. He has been fasting from entertainment and focusing all his free time on the Lord. He is alone and yet not alone because the presence of the Lord with him is powerful and so very comforting. I have found in my own life, that when I was in the most sorrowful times, that was when I found the presence of the Lord to be most real to me. However, that was many years ago, and now I have his presence every day at all times, but it wasn’t always so.