Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 28: Glimpses of the Inner World
…and to them that look for him shall he appear a second time…Heb 9:28
Testimony from “J”:
Wow. What a kind God we serve. Jesus knew just how much I’ve been hurting inside. As I was using my computer and preparing to eat dinner, he started talking to me again. He leveled me with these simple words, “’J,’ I see you.” They cut straight to the depth of my being. I knew he meant he completely saw me in full, with all my struggles and weariness right now.
He shared that he saw me and did not ignore all that I’ve done lately. He shared he has seen all I’ve given up. I wept and shook as I agreed as we went over it. I’ve given up my wife to him. I’ve given up the need to have a car. I’ve laid my whole life down to him, even dying to myself to decide that I am fully and totally his and will not hold anything back from him. I gave up my job to him (I’m still working, but I’ve surrendered it to him and am not holding on to it anymore), and several times now he has taken away bonus opportunities from me and allowed things to happen that feel very painful or embarrassing to me. I’ve given my finances to him. I’ve fully opened up my system to him, enthroning him as the unconditional king of my heart, soul, spirit, mind, etc.
I’ve died. I am literally a dead man walking. Jesus shared how I would not be alive if I wasn’t following him, as the occult would have taken my life when I shared his words recently (the word from the Lord posted in part 10). In the last month and a half, I have given so much over to him. It has cost me dearly (of course, I’ve gained so much more than I’ve lost), but he sees me. He knows what I’ve given up and how very painful it’s been. He shared how much he loves me.
Then, all of the sudden, he asked me if I wanted to dance. It was a strange request and caught me off guard at first. But, in my mind, I imagined us dancing over hardships in life, and I quickly took him up on his offer. And just like that, all the pain, sorrow, and suffering seemed to melt away. We danced on and on. I could see waves beneath our feet, but they didn’t hurt us. As we danced, he showed me how he didn’t just want to teach us how to walk above the trials of life. He wants to show us how to dance with him over them in joy.
As we danced on and on, he showed me different things the waves could signify like struggles at work, losing my job, losing everything I have, etc. He showed me each time how now I am to dance lock-step with him. His grip is strong on me, but not painful. As I dance with him, no matter what happens, I will be okay because he is holding me. He can and will take care of me now as I dance with him. No matter what comes. It was surreal but so healing. I shake some as I write this. It meant so much to me.
