Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 14: Glimpses of the Inner World
...and unto them that look for him shall he appear a second time…Heb 9:28, KJV
More from “J” as we see Jesus, and now other parts of “J”, working together to save a part caught up in great pride and deception. This is a perfect picture of how love can free someone bound up by the devil’s lies, but it has to be a work of God as you will see here, because the deception is incredibly deep when it is in a part that knows nothing else but its job and the devil’s lies. Another example of this can be heard in my podcast on this site where Jesus and I save a prideful part, just as deceived as Emma here, with love in just 18 minutes. When I touch her cheek (after casting out several demon entities) and she feels God’s love for the first time ever, the lies melt away. Then she sees Jesus as he comes to her and takes her with him to the safe place.
Testimony: Emma. Great High Priestess. Filled with pride but brought into truth.
Lie: “I am whole. There is nothing wrong with me. I am clean. I am not dirty. I am pure, I do not need to be cleansed. The devil has made me clean. Why would I need to be purified? I am very special. There are very few people out there like me. Greatness is in me. The devil has told me so. He loves me very much. I am honored by his love. He has made me beautiful.”
Truth: “Listen to me: Can you hear me? The lies speak out so loud, it can be hard to hear the truth over their carrion cries. This thing you believe about yourself is not fitting for you. It is not true. The devil has never stopped lying to you since the moment you were born. He does not love you. He does not love anyone, for he is not capable of love. He is the father of lies, my child. And so, when he lies to you, he speaks his native tongue. I will show you the truth about yourself. It will be hard to bear, but take courage, but in the heartbreak, I will heal your heart. I will make you new, even though you do not yet see why you need to be made new. Come.”
Testimony: I love getting to walk with the Lord, Cindy, and Peter now. We are coming to this new part’s door. It’s dark in here. But, I’m thankful for Peter’s clothes, which make it brighter, that we do not walk in darkness. And now, we are here. Jesus casts open the door like a man on a mission. He will not be stopped by anyone as He brings His freedom cry in me. I know this to be true.
[Potential trigger warning]
We go in, and I see a lady dressed in ghostly white. There are furnishings of gold and purple on her. Instantly, I recognize that she is high up in the devil’s ranks. She looks at us with a haughty look, cold as ice. If I were not with the Lord, I would be full of fear. Jesus looks at her full of love, but also with a sternness. He tells her that He means to save her this day, and she laughs mockingly. She is so nonchalant as she saunters over to us. She mocks Him, saying, “Oh, my Lord, whatever do I need to be freed from? Thank you for coming to free me, oh my you are so kind. But I do not need your freedom. See how free I am? My door was not locked, that is why you could come in so freely. I am not afraid here. I am in power. I can do as I please.” She went to keep talking, but Peter spoke, “That is not true, and you know it. You are afraid. You used to fear me.”
She scowled at him and commanded him to be silent, calling him unkind things. But, he kept speaking, “Please. You believe that Satan is so above reproach that he would never lie to you? That seems odd to me, as he has called you to lie so many times, hasn’t he? If you know that he intentionally calls you to lie, you who are so full of power here, why would you think he himself never lies to control others, as he has taught you to? It just doesn’t make sense. You are deluding yourself in your pride, Emma. This will not do. Come out of this. You will find Freedom in the Lord, just as we have found. You will find purpose in Him, just as we have found it. You will find the true love you’ve longed for, just as we have found it. Come.”
Emma shrieked in great evil power. I think a great spirit is manifesting itself. It is very terrifying in shape, pouring forth from her and distorting her face. I feel a little afraid at its dark presence and the evil in her face, so I paused to pray for the Lord’s protection even in the physical realm as I type. This helps, and its darkness doesn’t bother me so much.
The Lord looks at me, knowing what I did. He is proud of me but encourages me to beware of binding things in the spiritual realm that I don’t understand. It is important that I listen for His guidance on these things. I nod my head and repent to Him, thanking Him for speaking to me.
He turned to look at Emma and then looked up at Cindy and Peter in turn. He asked them what we should do. I could tell He was not alarmed in the least at the display of evil power before us. They pondered with Him and agreed that it would be best if we could show Emma how weak this great spirit was in comparison to Jesus’ might. He agreed. He let Cindy and Peter down off of His shoulders. I watched in amazement as they both walked towards Emma without any fear. As they walked towards her, she let loose the full measure of her spiritual strength on them, but they walked on unafraid and unaffected.
Soon, they had reached her. They did nothing for a second, just looking at her as she fumed and raged. Then, they both reached out their hands and touched her. She flew back and hit the wall behind her dazed. They told her to be still, and she suddenly found she could not move. She was astonished. She had never lost a fight before. Never once was she not able to do exactly what she wanted when she wanted (as far as she would admit in her pride, though we all knew this wasn’t true). She fought and fought, but could not do anything. She shrieked and kept trying to attack Peter and Cindy, obscenely angry at them, but nothing could land on them, for they were pure. She turned towards me, knowing I am not fully pure yet and meant to attack me. But, the Lord commanded for her mouth to be shut and stated that His protection was over me. She would not be allowed to harm me or another part ever again.
Her eyes were filled with hate. I ask Jesus what must be done to show her that He is more powerful. He replies that it’s not really about that with her. For her, her pride and arrogance are so great that it will not allow her to see the truth, even if it’s sitting right in front of her. He walks up to her until He’s right in front of her. He speaks “peace!” And she ceases her struggling. She knows that she will not win this fight. I can tell she’s preparing to be hurt.
You have lived in this pride long enough, my child. Your pride is one that says you are far superior to all others, and thus you are worthy of love and affection that is deprived to others—love and affection that you have deprived others of as well. Tell me this, how can the devil love what he hates? Did you know that he hates you? He does. He hates you very much and delights in your pain and suffering. That is why he forced you to commit so many atrocities in his name. He delights to see his followers defiling themselves that with each and every atrocity, they sink deeper into sin and shame, until it seems they can never find their way out. He loves to bring death wherever he goes, for he is the one that seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. Look at me, Emma. You know this to be true. Do not hold on to the lies, for they are the strongest kind of chain. Stronger than any iron or metal, they can hold you in place. Do not let them. The devil does not love you, nor does he care for you. You are not special in him. He’s lied to you. He’s made a fool of you. He’s manipulated you and controlled you. See it for yourself.”
And He did something I’ve never seen before. He showed her things from her past from outside her own vantage point. He allowed her to see what was really going on. She was aghast. She began to see just how many lies the devil and others had told her. She began to see through the well-crafted facade. One situation after another, the Lord laid all the lies bare to her, that she could see them plainly for what they were.
Once He was done, there was no denying the validity of His claims now. She finally broke down and admitted that Jesus was right, and that the devil had lied to her. She looked listless and aimless now, where she once was so proud and haughty. I could tell her heart hurt very much, and she felt very confused. I looked to Jesus, and He nodded. I knew I was permitted to go to her. I came over and touched her gently on the shoulder.
I shared, “I know what it’s like, finding out your whole life was a lie. I’ve had to come to terms with it too. Let me help you, for I will not judge or hurt you. I am for you, Emma, not against you.” She broke down into tears and accepted my love. I lifted her up, Jesus’ restraints being no longer needed and gave her a big hug. I knew this pain. It is hard. I gently remind her that there is hope and that with every lie that is broken, truth comes in to replace it with truth if we’ll let it. She whimpers and asks how truth would ever visit her, and I can tell she is now beginning to see just how much evil she’s done.
“That’s easy, Emma. Truth can visit us because Jesus is truth. See how he’s already here? He’s already visited you! Emma, not only can His truth visit you, but so can His light and love. You can be truly loved, wanted, and freed in Him. He longs to do this in you. He will not put you to shame like the devil has done, nor will He ever lie to you. He wants what is good for you. You can trust Him. See Cindy and Peter? They were both much like you, high up in the ranks of the enemy and believing they were so special in him. Jesus freed both of them from the devil’s lies, and see the freedom and joy that they now walk in? Jesus can do the same thing in you, and He will if you’ll let Him. I know it’s scary to let down your walls and let someone else in. I’ll be here with you if you’d like.”
She asked, “How do I know He won’t trick me and hurt me instead? How can I trust Him?” I looked to Jesus, and I knew He had an idea. He came over to her and knelt down, exposing His neck to her. We all knew this was an incredibly vulnerable position, and I suddenly realized she had a knife within her garments. Jesus knew this too. “Has anyone in power ever done this to you before willingly, my child?” She shook her head, speechless. “I know. That is because they all held so tightly to their power and control, constantly fearing losing it. It is not so with me. I hold it freely, for the Father freely gave it to me, and I know that no one can take it away from me. See now the depth of my power and now, Emma, that I will never hurt you. With my words, I can shape the world and destroy it. I can move mountains and calm seas. I can heal the sick and cast out the demons. Surely I can protect you. I cannot lie, Emma. There is no lying in me, nor shifting shape or shadow. See me now, have I even flickered or changed this whole time? There is no facade with me. I am who I am, and I cannot and will not change. It is who I am.”
This was enough. She knelt down to Him, her eyes locked with His. “Okay. What must I do to be saved?” He gladly coached her through each step. It was difficult for her, but she saw the truth now, and nothing could keep her from giving everything over to him. By the end of it, after she had been freed from the multitudes of demons and spiritual powers and had broken every covenant, and had repented of every sin, she was frantically handing over every tool or element the devil had ever given her. Jesus laughed with glee as each thing she handed him instantly disintegrated as it touched Him, for He is full of light and holiness, and these dark things have no place in Him. She was amazed and delighted in seeing every little thing burn up before her.
I am surprised, as she still seems to be a full-grown woman, unlike Peter and Cindy when they got saved. Jesus looks at me, knowing my thoughts, and I know not to make assumptions about how these things should work before He even needs to tell me. He smiles, and I smile back sheepishly.
Jesus tells Emma that she will be a messenger of the light now. The darkness will not be able to harm her because she now belongs to the light, and there is now no darkness in her. She is scared and asks that she not be left alone. Jesus encourages her. He gives her a lantern. He says it burns with the light of His kingdom, and it can never be put out. Wherever she goes with this lantern, His light will be. She is honored by this good gift, but I can tell she still doesn’t want to be alone. In amazement, I watch as Cindy looks up at Jesus and asks to whisper in His ear. His face is beaming with pride in this little girl. He grants her request, and she runs over to Emma and gives her a big hug. “Don’t be afraid, she says. I asked the Lord, and He said I can go with you.” This comforts Emma very much. The Lord’s face is so full of love, and I can tell He is so incredibly pleased with Cindy and Emma. I feel His love even now for them.
We turn to go, and I see that, as usual, a horde of beings seek to block our path. We all look to Jesus, and he nods to us. We know we all get to cast out the horde together. We step forward in one accord and cry out for them to leave, knowing they have lost their claim on Emma. They flee in terror.
We all walk out in great joy, and I shudder a bit as the structure behind us crumbles to the ground. I wonder how many more structures will fall in the coming days. We all walk together for a time, and then Jesus shares it’s time for us to go. We all have a merry time saying goodbye to each other, and I know I will be seeing them all again soon. I can tell that Emma is greatly comforted at having Cindy by her side, and they walk off into the darkness with confidence, knowing that the strength and authority of the Lord is with them. I walk with the Lord and Peter for a time, being encouraged by His presence and all that He has done. It is time for me to go, but I can’t wait for the next time I get to come and be with Him. Even so come, my Lord, even so come.