Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 13: Glimpses of the Inner World
…and unto them that look for him shall he appear a second time…Heb 9:28, KJV
Here is another testimony from “J” of a part being saved by Jesus. Here we begin to see more of the interaction of the parts with one another. The inner world is truly amazing, very real and wonderful when Jesus is there. As usual he begins with recognition of the lies the part has believed which are being replaced with God’s truth.
Peter. Great in the power of the enemy, a show of force, and a change of heart
Lie: “Longing. I am filled with longing. I was designed for one great purpose: to have sex with whoever I am commanded to. I am to be filled with a greatness of a longing for everyone I lie with. It is a great honor, and I am very great for being blessed with this position. It is a wonderful thing, and I am blessed of the devil. This is not something evil, but something good. I like who I am; why would I want to change? I have been given a great privilege. Something truly special. I do not need help. I am good.”
Truth: “If you are so good, then why do you need to keep telling yourself this? You are not good. You have been lied to. I am coming. I will lay you low, that you may see the truth. It will be painful, but it will be good. You shall see who you really are and who the devil truly is as well. You will see the depth of your sin and the evil you have taken part in. It will be for your benefit, for you have believed you are good, but you are not. The devil has sought to do all he could to pervert you, to call you into deep darkness and believe you are in fullness of light. But I will free you. I will carry you out, and you will experience true light. Prepare yourself, for I am coming, and nothing can stand in my way. We will see who is greater, and then you will know that I am the Lord Most High, and there is no one greater than me. I come.”
Testimony: The Lord walks with a certain purpose this time. Cindy clings close to Him, holding His hand tightly. I am amazed at the calm confidence on her face. I know that she believes that the Lord will free this newest part, and she’s excited to see it. She is a witness, I realize. I wonder why the Lord is having her do this and if He will have her share of His wondrous deeds someday.
We soon arrive. I am thankful the Lord is here with me, for I would not want to come to this place by myself. It feels extremely dark. The door is large, highly decorated, and elegant. I can feel my part on the other side of the door. They are preparing for spiritual battle. I know now that they understand what the Lord has been doing. They are aware he’s been freeing parts, and they’ve been instructed to fight. They will do everything they can to fight the Lord. I feel sorry for them and look forward to them being freed.
Jesus doesn’t touch the door but casts it open with a mighty word. The part charges at us with an elegant and ghastly sword, meaning to cut me down. But the Lord binds him, and the sword drops harmlessly to the ground. He wriggles and writhes with all his might (for he is very strong), but he cannot move. He shouts profanities and curses, seeking to harm us, but the Lord shields us. I perceive there is great darkness in this room and much evil power.
My part glares at me. He hates me. He hates me for what I’m doing in submitting to the Lord and all that I’ve allowed Him to do in us. Jesus speaks to him, and he has no choice but to look. “Peter. Look at me as I speak to you. Close your mouth and listen, for I have much to say. You say you have great power. You purpose to cut the front down to cause chaos to break forth in his life. You were commanded to do this. See now the greatness of my power. For, with all your might and all your strength, you are not even able to lift a finger apart from me. See this now. Try with all your might to get free and see if you are stronger than I.” I can see a fire in the Lord’s eyes. He is not messing around. He is here to free Peter, and He will use any power He must to show him the truth.
Peter screams out as he strains with all his great might to get free but with no avail. He cannot even lift a finger. He calls upon the devil to save him, saying of all the things he’s done to obey him and begging that he will in this moment do this one thing for him in freeing him from the Lord’s grasp.
I see a dark being standing outside. He cannot come in, but I know it to be the devil. The Lord shields from seeing his true form, but it is enough. I feel his dark presence as I write. He wants to free Peter from the Lord’s grasp, but he cannot. He is not even permitted to come in to the door. I feel led to pray to the Lord for him to protect my whole being from the devil, and so I took a moment to pray. As I suspected, the devil is not alone. Two mighty and powerful angels stand on either side of him, empowered by the mission and power of the Lord. He is not permitted to move or leave. He must stand and watch as the Lord brings his kingdom down in Peter and frees him. Jesus will remind him who holds true power in this world.
Jesus speaks to the devil. I am amazed at what he says. Jesus is so mighty and powerful. His kingdom will come, and His will will be done. Nothing will stand in His way. Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess that He is Lord. Nothing the devil does or plans will stand in His way. Nothing.
Now, Jesus turns to Peter. He tells him to behold his mighty master. “Behold his great power and might. Even he is defenseless before my power and might, Peter. See how he cannot even move when I don’t let him. I am God. I am the mighty one of Israel. He’s always lied to you about me, saying I was weak and showing you many false proofs about the lack of my power and the greatness of his. But, it was all a lie. A trick of the light. Now, you see in full the reality of my power. I will not be stopped. The devil will be judged. How do you feel about being lied to?”
Peter is furious. He was always told how powerful the devil was and how weak the Lord was. He performed thousands of rituals and hurt so many people to gain power from the devil. Now, he saw how truly weak he was compared to the Lord, and he was disgusted and hurt at how many times he had been deceived. The Lord allowed the weight of all of his sin and iniquity to fall upon him, and he realized how truly awful it was. The Lord released him, and he fell to the ground in his pain.
He wept. He grabbed the sword in one swift movement and without hesitation ran towards the devil to try to strike him down, furious at being so deceived. He struck at him, but the sword hit an invisible barrier in the doorway. The sword shattered into a million pieces, but neither Peter nor any of us were harmed. He fell to his knees sobbing. He was so angry, hurting, and felt so many conflicting feelings at once.
Cindy went over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. She quietly comforted him, saying, “It’s okay Peter. You don’t have to stay like this. I know this hurts, but you’re not the only one the devil’s lied to. Look at me. Peter, the Lord saved me just the other day. I was so hurt by the devil’s lies. I held great power as well, and I fully believed in the devil’s might. But the Lord showed me the truth just as He shows you now. It will be alright. Stand up and weep no more. He knows how to make you free from all of the pain and the lies, and He means to make you new. Don’t worry. There isn’t some great cost you must pay or some great ritual you must perform. He won’t make you feel dirty and shameful to get to experience His power. He’s not like the devil at all. All you must do is fully give yourself to Him and obey Him. He will tell you what you must do to be saved. Don’t worry. It will be good. I will be with you if you’d like, as you go through it all with him. I can even hold your hand if it will help.”
Peter lifted his eyes. They’re so red and puffy from his weeping. He would like that very much and is touched by Cindy’s love. He knows she doesn’t look down on him for what he’s done and realizes that she really does understand. She congratulates him as he takes her little hand, and she walks him over to the Lord.
Peter’s head hangs low, and he is full of shame as they draw near the Lord. He’s ashamed for how he acted when we came earlier and for the many terrible things he said.
Jesus does not chastise him, but welcomes him with open arms. He tells Peter that He is not angry at him, nor does His wrath burn against him. He is so happy that he has seen the truth and celebrates that he will be freed this very hour from his shame. “Look up at me, my son. I am not here to chastise you nor to wound you. I am here to make you well. Look at me, Peter.” Peter looked up. For the first time, he truly perceived the Lord’s fiery, love-filled eyes. In a moment, he saw just how much Jesus loved him. No one had ever looked at him like that before (besides Cindy, of course, who has the Lord’s love in her as she walks with Him). He was amazed.
With a renewed confidence, he asked, “What must I do to be saved, my Lord?” As he said this, I realized that He truly did mean to say “Lord,” and he knew what it meant. Jesus would be his King now, and nothing could stop that. Jesus replies, “First, my son, you must repent for all you have ever done. Do not fret. It seems like a great task, but I will guide you through it, and it will not take as long as you think.” And so, He did as He said He would. Very soon, they were done. With each sin that he repented of, I could see the weight coming off Peter’s shoulders. He looked lighter and more energetic with each thing the Lord freed him from.
Jesus now called him to renounce all the rituals he had been a part of and all of the many covenants he had ratified. Once again, the Lord gladly led him through the process, and it was soon done. Jesus had him breathe out. As he did so, the Lord shared that just as he breathed out, so was Jesus removing his sin from him, and it would never be within him again. For the Lord had spoken, and no one could take this away. We realize now just how many demons, entities, spirits, and dark powers reside within Peter.
The Lord explains that he must give up all of the power. Peter, having seen how worthless their power is in the presence of the one true God, gladly gave them all away. Evil things and spirits rushed out of him. I am amazed as once again, this part that looked like a fully grown man slowly shrunk the more spirits left him, until he was a little boy, a similar size and age to Cindy. I ponder this and will ponder it more I’m sure.
Soon, all the evil is gone, and Peter is filled with light now. Jesus has given him light as his garments instead of the garments of darkness and death he once wore. His eyes are so full of joy as he looks up at the Lord, realizing he is free now. He gladly casts off all of his tools from the enemy, having no use for them anymore. Jesus is very pleased and excited, touched by Peter’s faith. (I don’t think He had to prompt Peter to cast off the tools. He just knew he needed to do it. Perhaps news has spread of how the Lord frees my parts?)
Jesus asks him if he wants something new, and he gladly says he would love something. First, he asks for a box of bandages. He’s caused so much pain and hurt to so many people, he would like something that he could use to help others in their pain. Jesus gives him an even greater gift. “Would you like to come with me and Cindy? You can come with us and stay with us as we help others like you. Then, you will be able to help them, just as Cindy helped you today.” Peter thinks about this for a moment and is overcome with Jesus’ kindness. He went from being a great enemy of the Lord to being fully accepted and given this great honor. He gladly accepts. Jesus gives him something as well, but I do not see what it is, and I don’t think I need to.
Cindy is overjoyed and celebrating, so excited that Peter is free and that he wants to join them! She whoops and hollers, high-fiving him, me, and the Lord. Jesus picks them both up, one on each shoulder, and tells them that it’s time for us to go. We see that the devil is still standing at the door, scowling. But, he can do nothing, and he knows it. The Lord nods to his angels, and they lead Satan away. He will keep on with his scheming, but his schemes will not bear the fruit he longs for, for he is destined to fail, and the Lord will prevail.
There are mighty doorkeepers and other beings standing in the way now, but Jesus, Peter, and Cindy cry out together of one accord, and they all flee in light of the power and majesty of our God. We walk out freely, and the structure crumbles behind us. This cursed place is no more. No one will ever be harmed in here again. The redemption of the Lord is coming, and nothing can stop His coming light!
And so, we all walk together. The Lord frees me to leave for a time to take care of some things in the physical world, and then we will free more parts in a time. He is so good. Thank you Lord for freeing Peter!!! “