Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 11: Glimpses of the Inner World
...and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time…Heb 9:28 KJV
Here you will read “J”’s account of two more of his parts that were recently saved by Jesus.
Jesus rescues Anna, a part that was trapped and asleep.
Background: After work, and after getting to enjoy much uplifting time with the Lord tonight, I felt the Lord inviting me that he could free a part tonight if I wanted. (I fully believe that if I had said no, he have respected my decision. This amazes me. He is so loving in giving me a choice, unlike the devil who forces his way on others.) I thought about it, and decided to go for it! The Lord showed me that this time I would be writing out what was happening as it occurred. He let me know it would take a while, and that it would be slow going, sometimes taking some time between sentences. This part had been through so much, and we wouldn’t rush things. And so, it did take a while, and there were often pauses. But, he showed me what I needed to see and write when I needed to see it and write it. He freed my part, and I am so amazed at his wisdom, love, and power. Here is the testimony.
Lie/the state she was in: “I am afraid. I am trapped. I am alone. I am not worthy of being freed. The devil is my master. It is a mercy that I am locked up. I am never to be set free. I am alone. . . .” (The lies feel almost cyclical, like the part is caught in a bad dream and can never wake up from it; these lies rolling through her brain over and over again.)
Truth: “Oh, my child. You have been through so much. Wake up from your restless slumber. The light shines on you today, and how sweet the light is. Wake up, and let these lies fade away. See that they are false. Mere fabrications to enslave and entrap you. You need not stay trapped. I will break your chains and set you free. You need not fear hurting me or yourself. You cannot hurt me, and I am able to protect you. Let these chains fall, for my light shines on you.”
[Potential trigger warning for this following paragraph. I describe where she is and how she’s locked up. She’s in a deep, unnatural slumber.]
She sits on her knees, head drooping down with long, black hair covering her face. She wears a white, tattered garment. Both hands are encased in metal shackles, with thick chains attaching the shackles to these weights on each side, immobilizing her. She sits in the midst of a great stone circle with ancient patterns on it. It’s dark, but a white light shines from somewhere. She has been through so much.
Jesus walks in, his footsteps gentle on the stone. He has so much love and compassion in his eyes as he sees Anna and the state she’s in. She still sleeps this unnatural slumber. The Lord says something I don’t understand with great power. Something starts to shift in the room. The circle moves, and the weights on each end of Anna’s chains move as well, removing the burden from her body. She droops to the floor, her body trembling from being released from this physical stress.
The Lord then ministered to her, for she was very weak. She struggled, trying so hard to lift her head. She is so weak right now. Jesus asked her, “Do you want to be made strong?” She barely nodded yes. He spoke his power over her, and the spiritual cloud over her seemed to lift. Eventually, she was strong enough to stand. She looked up at the Lord, her eyes welling with tears. She was in so much pain. “Please help me!” She cried. Jesus cried too, and he did. He was able to step inside the circle where no one was supposed to be able to come. She marveled. She was nervous, but in so much pain. He set her fears at ease as he gently drew near. She saw the depth of love and determination in his eyes. He gently touched her forehead, and his healing power surged through her whole body, warm and comforting. (Cozy and refreshing, like a hot fire on a cold winter day.) She marveled again. She’s never existed without this pain.
She looks at him and says, “I want you. I want to go with you. Will you take me away from here? I cannot leave this circle on my own, but you came in. Will you take me out?” “Yes! He says confidently. First, we must break what curses trap you here. Then we must cleanse you of your iniquity. Once you are clean, you can come out of the circle,” Jesus explained. “How ill I be made clean?” She asked. “I will make you clean!” He lovingly replied.
She was interested. She knew she wanted to be with Jesus and also wanted to be free of this place. She knelt down and lowered her head, surrendering before the Lord unprompted. “Do whatever you must, my Lord, that I may walk free with you,” was her humble response. [Her faith and trust amaze me.] So, the Lord led her through what bonds needed to be broken, lies needed to be case away, sins needed to be repented of and forgiven, etc. She was already laid down to Him, so these things broke quickly. Once the last once was broken, she looked up at him with a hint of joy in her face.
[Another potential trigger warning for this upcoming paragraph. The enemy was not happy at Jesus working to free her. An entity came. End of the story? Jesus cast out the entity, of course!]
A great and powerful entity stomped into the room, enraged at what the Lord was doing in and for Anna. He seethed with all sorts of obscenities and curses, but none landed on Anna or the Lord. She didn’t shudder either. The Lord gave her confidence, for she was his now. This spirit forbade her from leaving. Jesus calmly but with authority stated it no longer had any claim over her. She was his now. As such, she would come with him, and this spirit (or any spirit) would not be able to stop them. The spirit sprung towards the Lord and Anna in its arrogance, but the Lord shouted in power and authority “Away from me foul being. Spawn of the devil. You have NO claim here!” The spirit was furious, but it had no choice and left. Jesus then cast aside the doorkeepers with ease.
The Lord gave her a beautiful light green dress. She feels beautiful and covered in it. She is weary and takes Jesus’ hand. He gently leads her out of this cursed place. He will walk her safely to the safe place, where he will grant her good sleep with pure dreams. She is safe now in Him from the darkness, and so Anna is now free.
(Jesus told me this would take a while, and so it did. He was very patient with me as I often checked in to make sure I was hearing him right and when it took some time in-between sentences. He’s not only so kind and loving to my parts but also with me. He is so good.)”
In the segment below another part is freed and “J” writes to encourage other survivors to seek Jesus even when it seems impossibly difficult because Jesus longs to set them free too.
Background: This morning (01/12), the Lord freed one of my parts as I read in Matthew 5 and 6 before work. Then, as I wrote out this testimony today (01/13), I felt much more on my heart well up that I wanted to say. So, I wrote it out below in parenthesis.
Background: This morning, the Lord freed one of my parts as I read in Matthew 5 and 6 before work. Then, as I wrote out this testimony, I felt much more on my heart well up that I wanted to say. So, I wrote it out below in parenthesis.
This morning, I felt led to read the Word for a time, and that Christ would lead me from there. I was in Matthew last time, so I picked back up there. No sooner had I started reading in Matthew 5:43-47 then when I felt a part get super anxious about the passage. I asked the Lord for guidance and felt I was to keep reading in Matthew, inviting my part to read with me. Soon, I read through the Lord’s Prayer. My part liked it. They asked if they could pray it. I told them absolutely! Then, I offered for us to pray it together. After doing so, I knew my part wanted to be freed by Jesus and forgiven in him. I asked Him about it, and He quietly said it was indeed time to free them, and that was why He wanted me to read this morning!
I asked what I should do, and He told me merely be still and that He would let me know if I needed to do anything else. So, I sought my best to be still, my mind wandering, praying occasionally, etc. Eventually, I checked in with the Lord, and He said my part was free! He shared they were going to need a long time to heal and that I will get to learn their name someday. I once again laid my fear of being deceived at his feet and celebrated that He is the way, the truth, and the life; and that he is inside of me. He can reveal lies to me and help me see truth. This comforted me.
(To be honest, I find it really hard whenever he frees parts without me getting to witness what happens, learn their names, etc. However, sometimes he’s freeing these parts when I don’t have very long before I need to get ready for work. I wonder if he’s doing it because he knows how much he has for me right now and is carefully picking and choosing what parts to allow me to witness their journey, lovingly guarding my mental and physical limits right now. I’ve already been way more exhausted than normal with all the internal work we’ve been doing each day and the intensity of my work. On top of that, some days I’ve been feeling really sick from parts whose job it must be to make me feel sick because of what I’m doing. I also believe there are curses that are being placed on me as I seek to get free. However, some days, when I ask for prayer from trusted people, I feel the Lord shield me from all of this, giving me the strength I need to continue on. I know that, in his timing, all of these parts will be freed that are making me feel sick some days, and the curses will be broken. I am also starting to experience what I believe to be blessings from the Lord as I turn to him, obey him, and see his kingdom coming in me.
For instance, at work, since I have started turning to him, going through one of the hardest times of my life, the Lord has consistently encouraged me to stay with my current job and keep working, telling me that He will bless me with favor at my job and with the people I talk to. So far, I’ve had some of my very best weeks of work to date and am seeing the Lord bless my work more than ever. Even on tough days when I am feeling awful inside. He’s giving me the strength I need each day and keeping me going. And that’s with feeling awful and disconnected some days / nights.
I say all this as my little testimony of how he is being faithful to me as I’m simply stepping out in obedience to him. He is so much better than I could ever have imagined. I grew up in church. I was so religious. But, I never knew him. I never knew he could be this good. I cannot wait to get to experience him more and know him more!
So, if you’re thinking about stepping out in faith and walking out onto the waters of healing from SRA, believing that there’s no way you can do this. That’s okay. There is no way you can do it by your own strength. But, if you seek the Lord and ask him to reveal himself to you and lead you each step of the way, he can show you how to walk on the waters into his freedom one part at a time. He will tell you what you need. The more I seek him and experience him, the more I know that this is the time he has destined for breaking of chains in his wounded children in the world who have been so ravaged by SRA. This is not the end. It’s just the beginning. Jesus is coming in power and might to free his people. Nothing can stand in his way as he comes to free us. I pray for you often, begging the Lord to come and free us who have been wounded by SRA. I will continue to pray and celebrate him freeing us!
I believe in you, and I believe you. You’re not making this up. The devil longs to deceive you and do everything he can to make you believe you have nothing to be healed of, or that it’s impossible for you to get free. He sang those lies over me for so long. But now, the Lord sings a different song over me, and the lies of the devil are being abolished one by one. His song is growing, and nothing can stop his freedom song in me. I cry as I write this. I cannot hope to communicate how much I long for each and every person like me to be freed. I believe this is Jesus’ desire in me, not my own. He loves you so much. He will not judge you and condemn you for what you’ve done. He will make you new and heal you from your wounds. One part (or many) at a time.
I pray the Lord’s peace and blessings over you, and that he provides you all you need to be able to make it out in freedom. I am rooting for you. But, even more so, Jesus is too. I can’t wait to get to celebrate with the Lord as he helps us get free!)”