Are You Looking for Jesus? Part 1: Glimpses of the Inner World
…and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time…Heb 9:28, (KJV)
God is moving in a new and powerful way to some survivors of satanic ritual abuse who cannot find help anywhere. The fact is, very few survivors of SRA are able to find help anywhere. The churches don’t know about it or are afraid of it. Universities pretty much ignore it and therefore people with counseling degrees don’t know how to handle it. Even if counselors knew how to effectively help them, most survivors can’t afford the counseling fees. What this all adds up to is multitudes of wounded, suffering people who are desperate for help and can’t find it anywhere.
Some of these dear ones read counseling books and try to figure out how to help themselves according to the techniques in the books. Or they try to find someone who will do it with them according to the book. They find it all confusing and hard to remember (that’s the way I feel about it anyway). But there is a different way.
The way I minister is I seek Jesus every morning via personal prayer and hours of Bible study. This places me in close relationship with Almighty God, our healer and the one who raised the dead, cast out demons, healed the sick, multiplied the bread, walked on water, etc. Then when I minister to a SRA survivor, I ask this wonderful God to come and minister to the person…and he does! What I am learning is that I don’t have to be there in person anymore for this to happen. People who spend time reading my articles and listening to my videos and then go to Jesus with a deep desire for relationship and his help, are finding he is there with them the same way he would be if I were there. I want to add that there is nothing special about me. I’m just a vessel who loves Jesus very much and spends time with him. He is the one who does all the ministry. I just get to be there and learn more and more about him as I see how he helps all the terribly wounded parts—many of which are child parts.
What I plan to do is begin posting articles containing letters people write to me about what Jesus is doing for them as they meet with him one on one in their own home. Practically no one believes they can go all alone to Jesus and he will minister to them. Maybe it hasn’t been this way in the past, but our precious Lord is drawing ever closer and closer to his faithful ones as the time of his appearing draws near.
Here is a pattern I am seeing in the ones who write to me. They spend time reading my articles and listening to my videos. Then they have a general idea of how God operates and how their inner world possibly functions. Next, they draw near to the Lord not just to get healed, but because they long to be close to him in a deep, abiding relationship. Here is what I received just today. It all flows exactly the way I would expect it to. When I minister I often feel I am just a catalyst. I’m not really doing anything but asking the Lord to come in his presence and minister to a part that has made itself known.
From one of my satanically ritually abused readers:
Last night and this morning were hard. Felt again like I barely slept at all. But, still got to get up and spend time with the Lord. Near the end, my dog insisted on coming up into my lap, so I finally let her as I prayed. Yahweh encouraged me with Isaiah 61.
Then, eventually I invited Jesus that if he wanted to do anything in me this morning, to come and do it, bringing forth any part, etc. that needed to come up. Nothing happened, so I just sat and prayed, listening for his voice. Eventually, I felt him bring a verse to my mind and encouraging me. So, I asked him to speak to me as I wrote it down, so that I could record it better. (With the way my mind is right now, it’s very hard to remember things verbatim.)
Here’s what I wrote down: “My power is made perfect in weakness. I know you feel very weak right now. Let this be a chance for me to showcase my strength in you. Allow yourself to be weak that I may be shown strong. Then I will be glorified. I will provide for you. Trust me. I will not allow you to fall headlong. I will take care of you. Trust me. I will be with you.”
Then, I felt this fear come up in me. I knew I didn’t feel comfortable being weak. I decided to write it out: “I think I’m afraid that “if I’m weak and not in control, then I won’t be safe. I won’t be taken care of. I have to take care of myself. No one else is going to take care of me for me. No one cares for me like that. I’m alone, on my own.” I soon realized these were the fears and lies a part of mine believed.
I decided to rebuke those fears and lies, replacing them with the truth Jesus had just shown me. Then I realized this was my part Max.
So, I talked with my part for a bit about Jesus, who he is, what it costs to follow him, what he’ll do/his ability and desire to save him, and also how Jesus has been saving others too. I asked Jesus, and I felt him agree that it was time to save Max. Max was interested (but a bit cautious) but agreed to speak with Jesus. I asked for eyes to see inside.
[not really graphic, but I am going to describe what it looked like where Max was, and what I think Max’s role was.]
Max was a little black boy. Maybe 5 years old? He wore a robe (like a bath robe) it was red. He was in this rich-looking parlor room with a couch and a fireplace. People would come and have sex with him (hence the robe). I think this has been happening at night. Jesus was so kind and loving with him. After a little bit (mainly them meeting), Jesus let me know that it would be better for me to go, as they had things they needed to work/talk through. I trusted him, let Max know it would be okay and that he could trust Jesus (also that I wouldn’t be far away. Max could call me if he needed anything). Then, I left to give them space. I could feel the weight lifting off of me, finally being able to allow myself to be weak safely.
In a little while, I started seeing inside again, asked Jesus, and knew it was alright for me to come in again. Max decided he wanted a COOL sleeveless shirt and baggy basketball shorts. He now has a skater hat on his head too. He likes his new clothes. Jesus let Max ride on his shoulders as he brought him out from the room. Max was like, “Wait, I don’t have to have sex with people anymore?!” Jesus joyfully answered, “NOPE!” with a bit of a happy chuckle afterwards. Max let out a “Woohoo!!!” I cried hearing them interact like that (and cry again a bit as I write this now). It was so pure, safe, and fun. Jesus is taking Max to the Safe Place. Max is now free.
(P.S. I’m pretty sure Max has been experiencing crippling anxiety every day when night starts to come. During the week, I’m working, so I don’t notice it as bad. On the weekends, I’ve had to lie down and wait it out it’s been so bad. I’ve been begging the Lord to help and save him. He kept saying it wasn’t time yet and encouraging me to trust him. I’m so excited Max is free now!)”
This is so totally the way I would expect Jesus to minister to the part. The host person experiencing this ministry did the things I would do. He first spent some time drawing close to the Lord with prayer and Scripture. He wrote some things down which people don’t do with me but I encourage it for when they are at home. At any rate, communication was opened with Jesus.
Next the part made himself known. The host person talked to the part about Jesus. He assured him he would be closeby if the part needed anything. He recognized and renounced lies and replaced them with truth. (Things I would have led him to do.)
Jesus showed the host person just enough for him to know what was done to him. Then Jesus talked directly with the abused part in private. He doesn’t always do this, but I have known of him to do it that way.
Jesus gave him gifts that are just exactly what a little child like that would have wanted. He had probably never been allowed to play in ways other children play. He was very likely deprived of appropriate toys that encourage good health and fun.
Jesus gave him new clothes. Again I have seen Jesus do this over and over again. He is so thoughtful and caring.
Jesus carried him on his shoulders. Our Lord likes to be close to his people. He meets us exactly where we are and wants to interact with us according to our activities and interests.
Jesus always takes the children to the safe place inside. This is in the person’s spirit that has been reserved by the Lord just for the parts as they heal, and no demon or perpetrator can go there. It is a very real place in heaven. The Bible tells us we are even now “seated in heavenly places with Christ Jesus.”