Although I have been ministering for satanic ritual abuse since 1992, it never occurred to me to have people write testimonies of their healings. I am starting this new section in response to the suggestion of one of the visitors to my site. So far there are not many testimonies. However, that doesn’t mean the healings didn’t take place. It does mean that people sometimes lose track of one another when they move away. Some of the people to whom I’ve ministered have moved. I have also moved twice since beginning the ministry. Also some people don’t like to write and feel they are not capable of writing. I’m sure over time there will be many more testimonies. I had chosen until two years ago to only minister to people in my own church. I commit to meet with them as often as necessary. I firmly believe and it has been my experience that when we allow Jesus Christ to lead in the ministry and we cooperate with him, there is no satanically ritually abused person who cannot be healed. Our God is faithful and He will complete that good work that He has begun in us.
I have been asked by some people if there is any hope to be delivered from Satanic Ritual Abuse and is there really such a thing. The answer is yes and yes. Satanic Ritual Abuse is real and becoming more and more open in America today. I grew up in the 50’s and 60’s in a family which was very involved in darkness and there was so safe person around me to whom I could go for help. Everyone in town was either related to each other or close friends. I was abused by my father, my brothers, my grandparents on both sides of the family and my seven uncles and many people in our town. My mother tried to kill me several times because she was also abused and didn’t want me to have to face a life of torment such as she had. I was also abused in several foreign countries. Through dissociation I was able to completely forget it all, but it took a toll on my life and my health. Before Pat began working with me I had to be hospitalized several times for emotional problems and also attempted suicide more than once.
During the years of ministry from Pat, there were days that were up and others that were down, there were times when I wanted to give up and other days when I knew I was ready for battle. Every time God dealt with an alter He would replace the lies that they believed with the truth of Scripture. He was dismantling the “old me” and building up the “new creation.” It was a journey, it is not something that can be handled with a few prayers or just one session. I had been prayed over by a few Pastors that told me that I had been cursed by people and they commanded the demons to leave and they did. Yet a few days later, they returned with a vengeance even more than before. They cannot just be cast out and it is over with, no, the lies the parts believe have to be replaced with the truth of Scripture, then the demons will stay out.
It was a journey for me, there were many alters and I was shattered and broken. Slowly as I was dealing with my memories, God was tearing down walls that I had built to keep people out so that no one could really know me. I would even put myself down when meeting new people, before they even knew me, so that if anyone had anything negative to say about me it would not hurt as much because I had already done that. More walls, more safeguards from getting close to people. One day when I was at a stand still, it seemed as if I could not get anywhere, God showed me a wall. It was a huge wall and Christ was on one side, and I was on the other side with my father. Now my father had never wanted me and I was terrified of this man so I cried out to Christ, why is this happening I want to be over there with You. His reply was that my unforgiveness against my father that had built this wall between God and me and not between my father and I. Well I prayed and prayed and forgave my father and asked God to help me make it a true forgiveness not just words. And we broke through into more and more memories and finally more and more walls were broken down and full deliverance came. This did not come fast nor was it easy, but it was worth it.
Yes, now I am totally healed. I no longer have memories or attacks nor do I face the desire to commit suicide or to physically cut or harm myself. Does this mean that there are no more bumps in the road or hard places, NO! I face hard times such as everyone else does, but I am not alone and God usually shows me things during these times that I need to deal with or change in my life. He is daily calling me to a life that is more like His. Life is an exciting adventure and I am enjoying each and every moment He is giving me. At the end of my memories, Jesus gave me a vision of a shattered beautiful vase it is made of fine glass and it shattered on the floor. Jesus picks up the pieces and begins to put them together like a puzzle and finally it is finished but as he puts it down, I see no cracks, no spaces, it is smooth as if it had never been broken. Yes, Jesus has healed me and delivered me and made me whole.
As I begin to write this I must tell you ahead of time that the facts and what you are about to read are real. For those of you who think SRA is a figment of someone’s imagine please read on and decide for yourself.
My SRA began as a baby and continued on through adulthood. It’s only by Gods grace and mercy and the help of someone who understands how SRA can affect a person’s life, that you can be healed.
As a baby I was cared for by my Grandmother and Grandfather on my Mother’s side. There were many times I was left not only alone with them but also with my uncles. By Gods grace Pat Clark came into my life but not how I wanted her to. I just wanted to be friends with her husband, Stoner and with Pat. As it turns out I was a basket case waiting to happen.
When I knew I needed help it happened late in life, in my late 50’s and 60’s. I knew something was wrong but did not know what. I felt strange and out of touch with reality. I knew my heart and mind were messing with me and I didn’t know why.
As a baby I was accessed by satanic powers and as most people realize a baby probably wouldn’t recognize these later in life. In order to get to the root of SRA you must have someone who first of all can help you get back to the beginning of your memories.
I didn’t realize it at the time but in SRA ministry the person who helps to retrieve those memories, is letting God and the Holy Spirit to reveal the Satanic things in you.
So I was accessed as a baby. I was sacrificed on the altar of Satan and given over to him so he would have complete access to me. As a baby there were terrible things planted in my body. There were bombs, torture, altars were built and so many levels of evil that I didn’t realize until I got older that I was SRA.
An example was when my own father, as I found out, did not really love me. I was an only child and at times I felt so alone because my dad wouldn’t affirm me. You may see yourself in this or a mother who was so overbearing that I was afraid to say or do anything for fear of the drubbing down and no love from either mom or dad.
It is very hard even to this day that I felt such anger and resentment for my father. It wasn’t until the last three years of his life that he finally hugged me and kissed me. By then I had built up such resentment for him but in the end I found peace in my heart because I finally realized he really loved me.
As I grew older, just getting into my teen years, I found out that not only was I SRA but I was also sexually abused by my uncles. The abuse was so masked by SRA that I didn’t really have any idea that it was wrong. As it turned out I even ended up with homosexual tendencies that I really did with boys my own age. I know now that it wasn’t my fault that these things transpired but Satan and his henchmen (family members) had put this inside of me for their purpose of evil.
As I started going through my memories it seemed that every time I went for ministry something horrible would be drawn up out of my being and would have to be dealt with. This went on for a long period of time, not weeks, not months, but years because of the programming that had been put deep inside of me on many different levels.
There are times that I would meet Satan in the spirit realm and let me tell you its really scary to not only see but to hear the voice which is constantly telling you that you are no good and it is all your fault for the way your life is going. When Pat would minister to the different levels and the terrible forces of evil that would come out of me, I would cough and choke and cry and scream because God was warring for my soul and Satan cannot stand up to God.
It took me a very long time to ask for help as I thought I could handle things by myself. As I soon found out, my own feelings and desires were not my own. It was so hard to accept the fact that demons and Satan himself controlled my being.
I remember my first day of ministry as if it were yesterday. I was sitting on a couch and Pat began to minister to me. At first she prayed that Jesus would begin to show me the things that were within me. At first, I did not feel anything. Pat told me to just relax and let Jesus speak to me. All of a sudden I felt this huge lump form in my throat. I could not talk or cough. All of a sudden this deep guttural cry came out of me and I started to cough and choke. This was the beginning for my ministry. I can only say that I felt so relieved and my whole body felt different.
Pat ministered to me for many weeks and months. There were so many levels of things buried from my childhood up to being an older adult that were so nasty and hard to believe.
Sometimes I had to deal with levels of the things buried inside of me. Sometimes it would take many sessions of ministry just to get through one memory. I must tell you here that I had to trust Pat and Stoner completely because the only way out of SRA is to be willing to open your self up and be ministered to by Jesus.
After many sessions, over many months and years, I finally reached a place I could say I was finished. There are things I have had to do that may seem hard or may be undoable.
I first had to get rid of all family ties because these were one of the sources of how I was accessed. Another thing I had to do was to leave the veil to my soul open because I knew that at some time I would need to witness to others about SRA.
To this day, I know if I had not had the ministry and the love of Jesus, I would be a shallow and broken vessel. I know my life is changed and I know that God is using me in a way I never envisioned.
I met Pat Clark when my personality parts started coming out in 1992. A lady who was taking care of me because of my failing health saw three of my parts in one day. She told me about Pat’s ministry, so I contacted her and she began ministering to me. We did this almost daily and sometimes two or three times a day. God spoke to her as she talked to my parts and daily taught them to tell their reason for being a part of me and when they became a part of me. It was difficult, but in 3 ½ years I became well and was free and was able to live as one. If I hadn’t met Pat I wouldn’t be free today. Praise God for His guidance and Pat’s faithfulness. (Pat’s note: This lady was the first person I ever ministered to. She had been abused by everyone in her family and by many in high places politically in the U.S. and many other countries. She had thousands of parts and very sophisticated programming. All I knew to do was say, “Jesus, who do you want me to meet today?” It was an amazing experience. I had no training in SRA ministry. I say this to emphasize the fact that anyone who is called to the ministry can be successful if they rely on the Holy Spirit.)
- Jesus showed me, as parts manifested during ministry, that I had definitely been abused in satanic rituals…something I had not known before.
- I learned I had been going out to rituals on a regular basis since childhood.
- The Lord ministered to me to remove all the programming that caused me to go out to rituals so I no longer went out.
- The Lord revealed that other members of my family had also been abused satanically, something I had not known before. This enabled me to take steps to protect them.
- I found out who my abusers were and was able to cut off all relationship with them and break their control over my life and the lives of my family members.
- I was able to release a lot of emotional pain that had been locked up in my dissociated parts.
- I was able to forgive my abusers.
- Demons were removed from the parts.
- Legal rights allowing the demons to be there were removed.
- Parts were integrated into my core.
- I learned root reasons for some of my problems and beliefs.
- I experienced Jesus’ loving presence and specific words spoken directly to me as I went through the memories
- During prayer ministry, memories came regularly for a period of two years until no more memories came.